For the first couple of years after my divorce, I was in a fog, bumping around from situation to situation trying to discover my new norm.
One minute I would rage against men, and insist on being in charge, the next moment turning into a people-pleasing piece of shit with no boundaries!
I was a hot, hot mess! The truth is, most of us are for a while as we strive to discover who we are, and what direction we want to go to get on with life again…
Unless we have given up hope of living!
We can get so caught up in the change, the pain, the unfairness, and the broken dreams that we unknowingly become bitter and place ourselves in an emotional prison.
A place devoid of any internal peace, joy, and certainly no love and connection!
We find ourselves in an emotional prison because we quit driving and become a passenger in our own life. Refusing to accept what has happened, we let go of the steering wheel and bury our heads deep in denial, and pretend we don’t care where we end up next!
Like it or not, life will move forward…
With or without our participation, and offers up what I call the default option (which in my experience, is usually exactly what you DON’T want).
What about you? Right now, are you the driver or the passenger in your life?
Are you taking charge and accepting responsibility for where you’re at in life and where you’re headed, or have you let go of the wheel?
Don’t feel bad if you find yourself in the latter category; it’s an all too common occurrence. What you need to ask yourself now is WHY you’ve let go of the wheel. What I find to be the culprit all too often is the feeling of: “I’m not enough." or "I need someone in my life to make ‘x’ worthwhile (eating well, traveling, taking care of yourself)." or "When I find the right partner, I’ll finally be able to make my dreams come true.”
Deep down, I know you know this but I want to shout it from the rooftops:
You don’t need a partner to travel, eat well, take care of yourself, see a movie, or try new things! YOU are enough. You don’t need to wait for whatever it is you feel is missing from your life to start living.
We talked about this a bit last week but it’s important to say it again: You are in charge of your happiness.
We encourage you to:
Live a life of no regrets. Change your regrets into action by implementing what you want to experience now! If you wish you would have spoken up…do it now; if you wish you would have said I am sorry, do it now.
Take life less seriously. Nobody has life all figured out. Allow for your own learning and discovery. Regardless of how it appears, life is not perfect for anyone!
Forgive. You may not forget but you don’t need to dwell on the past. Accept what has happened, and realize that everyone, yes, everyone, is doing the best they know how.
Follow your dreams. Create what you desire going forward. What is it for you, a trip, a new career? Allow yourself to explore the things that capture your attention and generate feelings of desire.
Remove the word “failure” from your vocabulary. There is no such thing as failure if you learn and grow from it! This is why we say there is no such thing as a failed relationship. Each relationship and experience in life teaches us and contributes to our lives and who we are becoming.
Take risks. It takes risk to fully live…and when you think about it, risk is what makes life exciting. It is what stretches us and causes us to be grateful to be alive!
Let your friends and family know how much you love them. Believe me, you can’t tell them enough. And I now realize you never know when it will be the last time you get to say I love you.
Lastly, remember that there will always be obstacles. Always another reason to put things off…stop making excuses and grab hold of your life!
You’re here, you’re breathing, you survived….and you are so much stronger than you think you are!
“Instead of waiting for life to happen, make it happen. Instead of waiting for a change, create a change.”
- Patrycja Domurad
YOU are the driver of your life. Take the wheel, and make some magic happen. It truly is a thrill!
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