I found myself shaking my head in disbelief…as I said gruffly, “This date is OVER!”
I promptly took his hand, and threw it down while my other hand pushed his body back!
See, this was my first experience of meeting someone from an online dating site. My first one that quickly turned into my shortest on record!
I must confess, I had just jumped right in without giving online dating a whole lot of thought. I was a newbie! I put my profile up on a free site because I was just exploring the whole online dating world.
I didn’t want to pay for online dating just yet, in case I ended up not liking it. I didn’t screen interested daters very well, I didn’t talk with this guy on the phone first, but thank God I had the sense to meet him in a public place!
The guy presented himself as this millionaire jet-setter through email. (It is embarrassing to write this)…what a sucker I was! We met at a very exclusive hotel bar in downtown Salt Lake City.
For the evening, I had chosen a tighter fitting sweater dress complete with tights and high heels…I was feeling pretty good about my presentation.
As I entered the bar, the guy (I honestly can’t remember his name) walked towards me and promptly said, “Are you Staci?”
“Yes I am,” I replied.
He reached out, grabbed the front of my dress, (which by the way was stretchy), pulled it out, looked down at my boobs, (thank goodness I was wearing a bra), and said, “Yes, ok, you will do!”
I was in complete SHOCK! This was not at all what I was expecting!
I was frozen in place for several seconds as my mind worked hard to figure out what to do next.
I recall him saying, “Come on, let me buy you a drink.”
Words would not come out of my mouth, but my right hand reacted quickly by slapping the left side of his face!
And my left hand simultaneously pushed him back. He stumbled and fell against the bar.
“Who is surprised now?!” I remember thinking!
As I turned to leave, he began saying, “Hey, hey wait, I was just kidding!”
“This date is over,” I declared as I walked out of the bar leaving him with my handprint on his check!
Kidding! Give me a break! He wasn’t kidding; he wanted to see what he could get away with!
I wondered how many times he had taken advantage of other women…or men…who knows!
I have some dating tips for you to make sure that nothing like this happens to you.
My first tip…do not ever put up with, or tolerate anything that causes you to feel belittled or disrespected in any way! EVER!
5 more Tips for Dating After Divorce
1. Define Your Purpose: What is your intention as you begin dating? Are you hoping to enter into another serious relationship right away? Exclusive or Open? Companion? Friend with benefits? You define this. Don’t let someone else define this for you.
2. Go Slow: Take your time until your “someone special” comes along. It could take 2 days, 2 weeks or it could take 2 years. This is not a race. It is your life! Instead of focusing on the “destination,” I want you to remember instead that the journey is the reward. Embrace and appreciate the steps along your journey to love. The journey that will expand you and your capacity to love…first yourself, and then another.
3. Keep An Open Mind: You meet someone new…you feel a spark…then what happens? You find a reason to run for the hills! Sound familiar? It is all too common when we have experienced the spark of love before to start picking your date apart by finding reasons he/she isn’t the one for you. Maybe they have a quality that begins to remind you of your ex. Maybe you don’t like the cologne or perfume they wear. You begin to notice they talk too much. They are too tall or too short…STOP! This is fear creeping in from your past experiences. Do your best to remember that each person you meet is unique. Do not rush to judgment or look for excuses to avoid connecting and sharing yourself with someone. If you need support with this, check out Samba!
Stay positive, embrace the adventure, don’t expect perfection, and take it one date, one connection, and one conversation at a time. See your life as the unfolding story it is, one that will cause you to smile when you share it.
4. Release Expectations: And view each date as an opportunity for new life experiences. You are going to have good dates, fantastic dates, and some disappointing dates…maybe even shitty dates like the one I had. Don’t get hung up on the bad ones! It’s easy to feel defeated or like you’ve wasted your time, energy, money etc at the end of a less than stellar date but trust me, each and every date serves a purpose. You will discover things about yourself; your “deal breakers” and what exactly it is you’re looking for from your dating experiences that will help you create the life and love you desire. I believe that there is a reason why out of all the people online searching…for some reason you chose to meet THIS person…get curious about WHY?
5. HAVE FUN: This is your chance to rediscover what makes you happy. Embrace it! This is your time to try new things and experiment with what gives you that toe tingling feeling. Make reservations at that new restaurant, take a class together, sign up for an activity you’ve been wanting to try…the possibilities are endless!
To get you started, download our 3 S's For Creating The Perfect First date! This will give you what you need to make sure your first dates are always enjoyable.
As I left the bar and took the escalator down to the hotel lobby, I noticed that there was a convention going on that caught my attention. When I was walking through the display tables…I struck up a conversation with Dave.
Dave was a great guy, handsome, funny; played the guitar…
We dated for the next several months and what a gift in my life he was!
What a great ending to an undesirable beginning that night! It reminds me...
