As I was going through some old letters a few days ago, I came across a letter I wrote to a past partner years ago. It reminded me of the heartbreak that can sometimes come with love as well as the personal growth it can demand out of us.
I feel so far away from the one that I use to be so connected to!
I wonder and ponder the questions in my mind endlessly
Has our time together come to an end?
Is it not possible to make it last forever?
Is it possible to re-embrace the feeling of being totally into you in the future?
Have the gifts given between us come to an end? Do I need to face living on my own again?
As I dig into my past, I am discovering I have a pattern. I am beginning to see some things within me that answer how it is possible that we are where we are today. The truth is, I love to please people until it becomes a self-sacrifice thing. Then I feel like I am dying on the inside, and then all at once…I turn into a monster!
I ask myself: have I been so eager to please, that all things (big and small) were ok in the beginning when really they should have been talked about early on? And now, all of a sudden, these same things have become big issues for us?
Could it be that I am the one rocking the boat because I have become resentful of the burden of tolerating these same things?
All I know and feel in this moment is that I feel blamed and guilty most of the time in our relationship.
I seem to not be able to get to a place where I take things less personally.
I feel I am the cause for everything that has gone wrong in your life according to you. I hear this message everyday that we are together.
I do not believe that this is intended on your part.
I do believe that you love and care about me, and not just me, but my kids too...
However, there have been many times that I have cried my heart out because I feel responsible for yet another thing that has gone wrong in your life.
At this point in our relationship, I don’t feel like partners, we don’t plan, strategize, dream, and now are not taking the time to experience things together.
Understanding and answering these three questions will finally give you the clarity and answers you need when you find yourself wondering, should you stay or should you go?
We have become business partners who have sex on the side.
I guess this could be a solution if that kind of set up works for both of us.
I will be honest...not what I was shooting for.
I just feel such disappointment right now at what we have become!
I look back at all of the wonderful memories that I have of us...
The trips, the adventures, the sharing and nurturing of each other. The love making, and the magical night that you proposed with the song you wrote and sang to me.
I miss you! Can we find our way back?
If so, show me how; otherwise…
It’s time for me to thank you with a kiss for all the life we have lived and shared, and get on my way back to ME!
When it is too good to leave, too bad to stay, ponder this:
Are you in the throes of deciding if you should stay or you should go? If so, take a step toward finding peace and clarity for your next best steps by answering these 3 simple questions in the free guide.
Do you need help and support with deciding if you should stay or you should go? If so, help is on the way!
Schedule a FREE 30-minute discovery call with Tom and Staci, and let us begin to create your personal plan for getting out of what we call “the land of maybe” quickly.
