In your opinion, what is the worst form of betrayal?
Maybe your partner sleeps with your best friend, or lies to you about where they spend some money. Perhaps they leave you and ultimately choose to build a life with someone else. Or maybe they use your vulnerability to get back at you in some way…
These indeed are all forms of hurtful betrayal.
But there is a form of betrayal that - believe it or not - is much more crippling to your relationship than any of these.
Today we have a special guest post by David Bartley.
It was the Friday before Father’s Day, 2016.
It's evening, and I am on my way home from work. It has been a good day. In fact, it’s been a good week, and I am headed home to begin what I expect to be an even better weekend.
Where I work is somewhat “land locked." That is, there is no direct route to the freeway, it takes a combination of main and side streets to make your way from point A to point B.
Jackie had been single and dating for more than 6 years when she said to me, “I am tired. I am giving up on this whole dating thing. I am STILL lonely, frustrated, and all used up. I am more insecure now than I have ever been. I am done!”
I asked her to share with me what her thoughts and intentions for dating were.
Jackie spun around in her chair and boldly asked, “What do you mean? Of course, I want to fall in love, I want to find someone to spend my life with!”
I was finally FREE! I had finally created a sense of freedom for myself from the bondage of my 13-year marriage. I could feel the sense of anticipation for a new life building in me as my soon-to-be ex-husband and I were sorting through our accumulated belongs; deciding what would be going to my new place, and what would remain in what used to be our family home.
Oh sure, there had been incredible moments and memories shared that I would treasure and remember forever, however the last three years of our marriage were filled with all manner of dysfunction. The physical and verbal abuse sadly got to the point that one of our children spoke to the school counselor and the counselor called Child Protective Services! Unfortunately, that is what it took for me to take massive action in pursuing my freedom, both for myself, and my five innocent children.
“Oh my god, I’m alone. ALONE.”
“I’m single…I haven’t been single in years; I don’t even know how to be single anymore!”
“I’m a failure, what’s wrong with me?”
Dating After Divorce: Do You Find Yourself Asking: Who Am I?
Does any of this sound familiar? I know when I found myself single after 13 years of marriage, I sure felt this way.
Whether it was a long time coming or a complete surprise, divorce is sure to stir up some major feelings. It’s completely natural to feel panicked once the dust settles. After all, you’re beginning a new chapter in your life and change, even when welcomed, can bring anxiety caused by uncertainty.
