“No enemy is worse than bad advice.” –Sophocles
I recently came across an article titled “10 Pieces Of Really Bad Divorce Advice” and it got me thinking about advice in general. We all LOVE to give it. Giving advice is easy; it’s receiving it that is often the hard part. Sure, we may ask for it, but we usually don’t like to accept it unless it fits with what we were hoping to hear, even if it’s good advice, right? Well, what about when it’s bad advice? How do you separate the good from the bad? It can definitely be difficult.
If you’d like to read the article about Bad Divorce Advice, you can find it here.
We created this Dating After Divorce series in large part BECAUSE of this problem. There is so much advice out there; our hope is that you now know where to come for valuable tools and insights...
Right here!
Some of the BAD ADVICE on the author’s list that I’ve also heard a lot throughout the years are:
- “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” (Oh yeah, that will fix everything!)
- “Wait at least a year before dating after divorce.” (Why, because the calendar knows more than me?)
- “Move on and stop feeling sorry for yourself.” (Believe me! I would if I knew how! It’s not like I am having a great time!)
The author briefly comments on these in the article but luckily for you, we’ve already written in great depth about these topics!
If you haven’t been following along with our series, you will want to go back and read: “Dating After Divorce: How Do I Know When I’m Ready?” as well as “Dating After Divorce: Tips For Enjoying Your Dating Journey”
I feel it’s worth highlighting some of what I’ve shared with you in those posts again as a way of encouraging you to “try on” a new perspective and see if it resonates and empowers you.
May I share a new perspective on advice as a whole that I hope you will take to heart?
I am certain it will help you navigate through the volumes of love advice you will find on the internet.
At Lease On Love, we don’t just give advice (that’s easy); we also teach skills, provide you with tools, and suggest new perspectives; all of which is designed to inspire you to embrace more love and less fear in your life…right now!
Why?
Who am I to tell you what is right for you? That is your job.
I don’t know your past, your upbringing, your hopes, your dreams, your challenges…but you do.
So here is the deal, I promise to share with you all I have learned, share my own personal journey on how I finally created toe tingling love in my own life, and provide you with some methods and tools I designed to support and inspire you on your journey...I am very passionate about my work!
However:
At the end of the day, you have to use the tools, be curious and coachable, and ask…
Is this working for me?
You and only you will know the answer.
Not me. And truth is, nobody else…I don’t care who they are.
I want to inspire you to follow your gut, NOT the calendar, and not some love guru!
Pay attention to your own knowing and wisdom and stop doubting yourself. Give yourself credit for all you have experienced in your life up till now.
You and you alone will know when it is time for you to begin dating again. When you’re ready, you’re ready. It could be in two months or it could be in two years.
Don’t let anyone rush you and don’t try to rush yourself.
Conversely, don’t feel guilty if you’re ready to get back out there sooner than expected. This is not somebody else’s journey. This is your journey! Claim it, take possession of it, and live it fully!
My real message to you today is to remind you of this simple truth…
You have all the answers inside of you. And regardless of all the well-intentioned love gurus, YOU and YOU alone know what is best for YOU!
I encourage you to relax about things, take a breath and be easy on yourself.
There will be plenty of time for you to find your “someone special." This is not a race. It is your life!
Stop focusing on the “destination,” and instead create a memorable dating journey you will fondly share stories about for years to come!
Uh oh…Was that advice?
Journey on my friend. I believe in YOU!
Thanks for being here with me today.
If You Would Like More Tips And Support Like These, Then You Must Check Out SAMBA! Coming To You Soon!
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“Oh my god, I’m alone. ALONE.”
“I’m single…I haven’t been single in years; I don’t even know how to be single anymore!”
“I’m a failure, what’s wrong with me?”
Dating After Divorce: Do You Find Yourself Asking: Who Am I?
Does any of this sound familiar? I know when I found myself single after 13 years of marriage, I sure felt this way.
Whether it was a long time coming or a complete surprise, divorce is sure to stir up some major feelings. It’s completely natural to feel panicked once the dust settles. After all, you’re beginning a new chapter in your life and change, even when welcomed, can bring anxiety caused by uncertainty.