You’re all excited to meet a “someone special,” and your friends have talked you into trying online dating. It sounds like it could be amazing…all those gorgeous guys and gals you see when clicking through free profiles that entice you to create one of your own are tempting for sure!
You hear many opinions both FOR and AGAINST online dating. Like most opinions, there is a bit of truth and merit on both sides. Perhaps for better insight into how to be successful with online dating we need to begin by exploring some interesting statistics that will help us to move from opinions to a greater understanding of this online dating world.
Last year, Tom wrote about his shock and amazement at hearing this statistic about online dating in the US. At the time, it was reported that there were 1,500 dating sites and apps in use and 40 million people in the US currently using these dating sites.
Supply for potential partners is UP and growing!
Another study was released earlier this year, this time by the esteemed Pew Research Center. The report states that, “Usage by 18- to 24-year-olds has increased nearly threefold since 2013, while usage by 55- to 64-year-olds has doubled.”
These numbers don’t even begin to tell the whole story though. What is interesting to me is another study by Pew found that only 5% of Americans who are married or in a committed relationship say they met their partner online.
So the number of online daters is increasing, but only 5% create a committed relationship from doing so.
Why is that?
While all of these statistics are encouraging to those seeking out alternatives to meeting someone new as the numbers of daters grow, this last statistic really stuck out to me:
This means to me that 1/3 of the people with a dating profile meet someone online, communicate through the platform’s messaging system, and then never go out on an actual date. How sad!
Online dating is a very different way of meeting people for many of us. When you really think about it, online dating has not been around long. The first dating site, Match.com, was started in 1995; however, online dating did not become a popular mainstream idea until 2000.
Now 16 years later, the thought of online dating for many of us, still feels strange and makes our knees shake a bit.
I remember the odd nervous feelings all too well with my own online dating experiences after divorce and wished I would have had a guide or at least someone to provide a few super tips on how to navigate and manage the on-line dating world.
More than 3 years ago within my divorce mediation practice, I could see more and more the need for continued support for clients stepping back into the dating world again after the end of their committed relationship. Support with navigating the many changes of how you go about dating, as well as the reinvention of themselves along with new skills for creating a committed relationship once again.
This together with my own relationship journey back to love after divorce moved and inspired me to create Samba -- just for you.
Samba is a program with tips and strategies for dating and finding that fulfilling relationship you really desire. The best part? It also includes a community where you can get feedback and live Q&A sessions where you can get real-time support as you navigate the dating scene. Have a question about a recent date? Join Samba and post it on our forums or connect with me during live Q&A!
I’m now giving you a sneak peek at some of the super tips we share inside Samba, sure to provide you with a newfound confidence for online dating, as well as ensure that you enjoy your dating experience overall.
Here Are 6 Powerful Ways To Be Successful With Online Dating
1. Set Time Limits: Decide how much time you are able to devote each day or each week to reading and responding to profiles and then STICK to it. Set a timer if you have to. It’s easy to get sucked into browsing profiles if you don’t have a designated time set and then before you know it, hours will have passed and you’ll wonder how that happened. Bonus: Setting a strict time limit will force you to rely on your gut instincts while weeding through messages/profiles more quickly. This means you’ll be less likely to have the time to convince yourself that you like someone you actually don’t have anything in common with.
2. Define Your Deal Breakers: Spend time before you dive in to come up with a short list of your personal deal breakers. Click the button below to download the worksheet we created for you to discover them. If you spot any of them in someone’s profile, no matter how nice they seem, do not engage. It would be a waste of their time and yours.
3. Judge A Book By Its Cover: Yes, it’s okay to let your eyes take the lead here. Take a moment to review all of the photos in a person’s gallery and if you don’t feel any physical attraction, move on. There is no need to read a person’s profile if you aren’t physically attracted to them.
4. Don’t Be TOO Nice: You do not need to respond to every message you receive. In fact, it’s perfectly acceptable not to respond to an initial message if the person’s profile doesn’t do it for you.
5. Keep It Short and Sweet: Don’t spend too much time worrying about how to write the “perfect” message when you’ve found someone you want to initiate contact with. A simple one or two paragraph message is great. Tips: Include one sincere compliment, a couple of details about yourself (they don’t need your life story right off the bat) and a comment or question about their profile that shows you didn’t just copy and paste your message.
6. Make Time to Meet: Plan on asking to meet someone after you’ve exchanged a few messages back and forth AND had a phone call or two. You’ll get a much better sense of your possible connection in person and it’s best not to waste hours of your time communicating strictly via the computer or phone.
You may be thinking right now…gosh, these 6 tips are kind of abrupt and unemotional!
Remember the statistics we talked about earlier…the part where only 1/3 of people actually go on a date? And only 5% actually find a relationship out of the millions of people online?
And remember when I said, there is a bit of truth in every opinion?
Well here is the truth…
There is a negative side of online dating. And, I wish it were not true, but it is that there are people who will attempt to take advantage of you and your kindness, and you need to be able to screen them out and remember, you are not online to please others, you are here to find someone you deeply connect with.
And the positive side…? The positive side of online dating, is you have more access to amazing people just like you, looking for someone special, just like you.
But you need to know, online dating won’t find love for you. That is your job. But, it will provide you easy access for meeting other singles from all around the world. Supply and opportunity will not be a problem. Knowing how to screen and set your dates up in a way that help you find love in crucial for becoming part of that 5% who are successful with creating love again in their life.
If you will practice and stick to these powerful 6 tenants, your time spent meeting others online will be productive and meaningful and will help you avoid those who have poor intentions.
Online dating can be a fantastic experience.
And who knows, your next special someone could be just a few clicks away...
If You Would Like More Tips And Support Like These, Then You Must Check Out SAMBA! Coming To You Soon!
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“Oh my god, I’m alone. ALONE.”
“I’m single…I haven’t been single in years; I don’t even know how to be single anymore!”
“I’m a failure, what’s wrong with me?”
Dating After Divorce: Do You Find Yourself Asking: Who Am I?
Does any of this sound familiar? I know when I found myself single after 13 years of marriage, I sure felt this way.
Whether it was a long time coming or a complete surprise, divorce is sure to stir up some major feelings. It’s completely natural to feel panicked once the dust settles. After all, you’re beginning a new chapter in your life and change, even when welcomed, can bring anxiety caused by uncertainty.