Dear Staci, 

I am newly single after 20 years of marriage, I am finally happy, and consider myself to be young at heart at the age of 53. I was recently contacted by a guy from high school, I had a major crush on back in the day. He messaged me and confessed he also had the hots for me in high school. While on FB, he asked me for my phone number, saying he would like to stay in touch. I, of course said yes, and we have been texting now for a little over two months. The sharing between us has been amazing, but it has all taken place through text. We have confided in each other many of our deepest, darkest secrets. He lives over 900 miles away, but, I let him know this is not a deal breaker for me, and I would like to explore a relationship with him. It seems we think about each other CONSTANTLY; and yet he keeps telling me he's not ready for a relationship. He mentioned last week that he might be ready sometime in the next year. Because of this, I am having a hard time engaging on my dating sites, and dating in general really, because I just can't stop thinking about him. I am so confused, what should I do? Wait around for a year, or move on? I am really needing some help with this.

Sincerely, 
Delphine

A destination is much easier for us if we understand and accept the journey necessary to reach our destination. For example, if I am traveling to the coast of California from Utah, and I look at google maps, I will see that I travel through mountain terrain, Southern California, go through the foothills, and drop into the coast before I arrive.

When you think about it, every destination in our lives has a journey, doesn’t it? If my destination is a new house, I figure out where I want to be, look up the schools, interview people that live in the area, study the real estate market, and then there is the qualifying process. If I want to become a doctor, there is pre-med, medical school, internships, residency, and so on.

Getting pregnant at 17-years-old brought about many challenges for me. Yes, there were the logistics but it was the emotional impact of it all that tripped me up for YEARS!

Seeing how my circumstance affected my family broke my heart, and the stories I made up about myself because I had done such a thing caused me to struggle in relationships for the next 30+ years.

The shame and guilt I felt crippled me and prevented me from being able to see the beauty in myself!

Perhaps you have such a story? Something in your past that you feel so guilty and shameful about, that you can’t see or refuse to see the beauty in yourself?